President Obama’s DNC Speech Summarized

Posted: September 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

Hi, I am Barack Obama. Let me be clear, Bush was the worst president ever and I have been trying to clean up his mess. I should get an award for the colossal effort I have been doing cleaning it up. If there was an award it would be at least a Participant Ribbon, because I believe effort is just as valid as results. But enough about the past lets talk about the future.

I am going to lead you FORWARD! How am I going to do that you may ask? Let me be clear, the only way we can go FORWARD is to keep doing the things I have been doing for the past 4 years. We can only move FORWARD by going back to the tax rates before Bush took office. We can only move FORWARD by looking back to the economic policies of Bill Clinton. We can only move FORWARD by looking back to the foreign policy of Jimmy Carter. We can only move FORWARD by doing the same things that we have been doing as the Democratic Party for the past 40 years. You can only go FORWARD by going BACKWARD. In fact, I am going to demand that GM, which I personally saved, only make cars that go FORWARD and have their reverse gears removed.

So in conclusion. FORWARD and remember that Republicans hate old people, women, gays, illegal immigrants and want to kill them with smart bombs.

I am Barack Obama and may the odds forever be in your favor.

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