I really want my blog to be about more than me being snarky about politics and ranting about stuff. I want to be positive about things and help others. So in that vein let me start by being helpful. It will make life happier for everyone involved.
STOP TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME OVER FACEBOOK!!
You see every so often one of my friends on Facebook will post one of those “Hey Facebook, this post means you can’t steal my privacy! By posting this you can’t use anything I post to make a profit off of something you are letting me use for free! Heck, I don’t pay a dime to use this wonderful bit of technology that would make folks 20 years ago at the dawn of the internet scream “Jumping Jehoshaphat, what have we created! We made this thing to share information not duck faced selfies and high scores in Farmville! Please shoot me now in penance for what we have done!” So yeah, by posting this there is nothing legally Facebook can do because I have found a loophole based on US Code 867-5309 that somehow their army of lawyers forgot. So I don’t want anyone violating my privacy on Facebook.”
Now that really doesn’t bother me as much as the thing they always use at the end of it. It usually goes something like this:
“Now post this in your status so I can see it. If I don’t I will unfriend you faster than you can say Candy Crush”
That is the part I don’t like. It makes me want to scream. I mean the first part i just shake my head and laugh. If you think you can have privacy on the Internet then you really shouldn’t be on the internet. The internet was not created for privacy. It was created with an idea that anything and everything can be and should be shareable. Here is the best privacy tip I can ever give anyone. If you want something to stay private, DO NOT PUT IT ON THE INTERNET! Listen anything you put on Facebook is open to the public and by posting something about obscure laws or adjusting a “privacy” setting to protect the picture of your birthday dinner at Applebee’s is absurd. But if it makes you feel better go ahead and post it, it is Facebook after all and Lord knows I have posted stupid stuff on Facebook.
However it is that last part that really galls me. You see, I don’t friend everyone in creation on Facebook. If you are one of my under 200 friends you are there because I actually like you and care when your cat has kittens, or when your son makes the little league team, or when you post that YouTube video of a dog barking at a mirror. That is what I adore about you. My friends of Facebook don’t follow lock step in what I believe. I have lefties, righties, Christian, Atheist, Old, Young, Gay, Straight, Rich, Poor, Famous and Obscure. If I am your friend I love you for who you are and each of you are special enough that I want to read about the minutia of your lives.
I never, ever paste and repost one of those comments. This applies to not just the ones about Facebook Privacy, but even the ones that tell me to post something and if I don’t then I don’t love Jesus, or I want some kid to get cancer, or you are doing it because you think no one ever reads your post and you are doing it to find out who your true friends are.
Listen. I love Jesus, I hope no kid ever gets cancer, and the fact that I haven’t unfriended you should be all the sign you need to know that I still love you.
So, stop trying to threaten me. Accept the fact that you have no Privacy on Facebook especially in an era when a 12 year old with a script can hack your bank account and the NSA listens to your phone calls and just relax.
Now if you will excuse me someone just posted a link on how to make toothpaste using common household items so I can stop spending $3.79 a tube and just spend $15.00 on all the ingredients to make it myself.